3 Easy Skills to Better Manage Anxiety
“I want to get rid of my anxiety.”
We live in a world of instant gratification. We want it all and we want it now. I can’t count how many times a client has said to me “I just want to get rid of my anxiety” (or even how many times I have personally thought it). Unfortunately, there are no quick fixes for anxiety - it is with us for the long haul. Trust me, this is a good thing. As bad as anxiety feels, it’s really doing us a favor in a lot of ways, but it does go into hyper drive unnecessarily at times. It’s no secret, that stress and worry can wreak havoc on your overall health. So, as helpful as anxiety can be, we don’t want it to be debilitating and interfering with your daily life.
So, I’ll offer three easy ways to better manage anxiety. It may not resolve your anxiety immediately, but it can make it more manageable. And like with any skill, the more you practice it, the more helpful it will be.
Skill 1 - Belly Breathing or "Diaphragmatic Breathing”
When we think of working on improving our health we focus on water intake and eating healthier. Three things we can’t live without are food, water and breath. So, we miss such a critical component of improving our health by leaving out our breath.
Deep breathing is such a wonderful skill, because it is always available to you. You can access this resource at any time. Not only will it help you with your anxiety, but it will also help you feel more in tune with your body - which is essential for mental and emotional wellness.
How does it work?
When we are feeling anxious, our body is preparing to fight, flight or freeze. This means that our sympathetic nervous system is activated, which is essentially preparing us for action. We can think of our sympathetic nervous system as the gas pedal on a car.
So, we want to counteract this. When we access belly breathing, we are activating our parasympathetic nervous system which is our “rest and digest” system. We can think of our parasympathetic nervous system as the brake pedal on the car. This allows our nervous system to calm down, so we can get out of our emotional mind and access our rational mind.
How do I do it?
Start with your left hand on your chest and your right hand on your belly. This will help you notice the difference between breathing in and out of your chest vs your belly. You only want your belly to rise and fall, not your chest.
As you inhale, expand your belly into your hand as if it’s a balloon filling with air. Breathe in for 4 seconds.
As you exhale, deflate that balloon by drawing your belly button to your spine. Exhale for 7 seconds.
Close your eyes and focus on your breath. If you can, make your breath audible. You want to connect with your breath as much as possible, so let’s hear it.
Continue for 4-6 breath cycles slowly inhaling and exhaling.
Practice daily.
Skill 2 - Grounding Skill 5-4-3-2-1
Anxiety has a tendency to take us to dark places in our mind and often times very far from where we’re actually at. Grounding skills help us keep our feet on the ground and bring us back to where we are by activating our senses. This particular grounding skill is a mindful distraction, because you have to focus on your surroundings and become an observer - which means you’re forced to get out of your ruminating thoughts.
How do I do it?
Find 5 things you can see. Be descriptive with this - don’t simply list items like: clock, tree, shoe, etc. Identify shapes and colors as well - I see a round blue clock, a crape myrtle losing it’s flowers and a mauve blocked heel shoe, etc.
Find 4 things you can touch. This could be your skin, the chair beneath you, your bag, desk, paper, soil, whatever is nearby. Notice the texture of what you touch.
Find 3 things you can hear. This could be the sound of your voice, wind, cars, music or the air conditioner.
Find 2 things you can smell. This could be your perfume or cologne, your hair, clothes, a flower, your coffee - get creative.
Find 1 thing you can taste. This could be gum, your toothpaste, take a sip of a drink or have a bite of food if you have it.
Skill 3 - Activate Your Dive Reflex
The dive reflex exists in all mammals. The physiological effects of this is primarily studied in dolphins and whales, however, researches have found that the same reflex exists in humans. When you hold your breath under cold water, your survival instincts kick in which result in your heart rate decreasing and in return, your anxiety begins subsiding.
How do I do it?
Grab a large bowl. Add water and ice cubes. Take a deep breath in and stick your head in the bowl. Try to hold your breath for 30 seconds and come up. Repeat this 3-5 more times until you notice your body responding and calming down.
If you find holding your breath under water distressing, grab a zip lock bag and fill it with ice or grab a bag of frozen vegetables. Using a paper towel or cloth, hold the ice pack on your face and bend over (we still want to dive here). Hold your breath for 30 seconds.
Other options: Rub an ice cube on your face, take a cold shower or do a legitimate cold pool plunge!
If you want to read more about the physiology behind the mammalian dive reflex, check out this article from the National Library of Medicine.
Warning: If you have preexisting heart conditions, please consult with your doctor before trying this. This skill actively lowers your heart rate, which could be dangerous for you.
Want to learn more?
There you have it! Three skills to better manage your anxiety. If you’re interested in learning more skills and tips follow me on Instagram @therapywithbrooklyn.
Brooklyn Milner, LISW-CP
Charleston, SC Therapist