Mindfulness is Easier than You Think
“What resists, persists”
Mindfulness is tuning in to the present moment, without judgement. It is the observation of thoughts and emotions without labeling them good or bad - they just are. Mindfulness allows us to practice acceptance of our thoughts and feelings. We simply notice them and observe how one thought leads to the next and how those thoughts may lead to emotions. The ultimate goal is for us to shift from looking at our thoughts with ridicule and judgement to noticing our thoughts with curiosity and understanding.
Often times, mindfulness is discounted, because people feel frustrated when they can’t “empty their minds.” However, the goal with mindfulness isn’t necessarily relaxation or zen. It does not require the removal of thoughts. It’s becoming aware of our thoughts - noticing how one thought leads to the next. It’s an awareness of a moment…
and this moment.
and this moment.
and this moment.
I was listening to the podcast, Therapists in the Wild, and one of the therapists shared that “mindfulness is the practice of losing your attention 1000 times and bringing it back 1001.” I love this description, because it shows just how hard it is to focus. It’s okay if your mind wanders - it’s even expected to, when you notice this, just bring your attention back to the task at hand.
So, why is mindfulness helpful? We have a tendency to avoid and suppress distressing thoughts and emotions. We don’t like the way they make us feel, so we want to get rid of them. That somehow if we can distract ourselves enough, our negative thoughts and emotions will go away. However, this attempt to avoid and suppress our thoughts and emotions often times creates the opposite effect.
Acceptance & Commitment Therapy uses a great metaphor to describe the paradox of avoidance.
Let’s float back to a time when you were a kid playing with an inflatable beach ball. You’re in the pool and you try to push that inflatable beach ball underneath the water. What happens?
You notice that when you push the ball under water, the ball starts to push back. When you let go, the beach ball will propel itself out of the water - sometimes hitting you right in the face.
This is what avoidance of thoughts and emotions looks like. The old saying goes - “what you resist, persists.” No matter how hard we try to avoid and suppress, it will always find a way to come back and knock us right off our feet.
The practice of mindfulness can allow us to become more comfortable with the uncomfortable. We can become the observing self and notice what’s happening within our minds and bodies to better understand how we operate, but also what we may need. When we can create a better relationship with our thoughts and emotions, not only can we create a better relationship ourselves, but also those around us.
Mindfulness skills are used in many therapeutic modalities including Acceptance & Commitment Therapy, Mindfulness Based Cognitive Therapy & EMDR.
Want to learn more about this? Call today to get started!
Brooklyn Milner, LISW-CP
Charleston, SC Therapist